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Ugh, today kinda sucks. I'm enjoying rping with my love, but yeah, other that that, it's been kinda crappy. I wanna cry and really I don't know why. I feel sick and I dunno if it's because of the sun or not anymore. Maybe it's a mix of stress and the sun. Who knows. I have a headache and I'm frustrated with myself for being such a big baby.

I'm even more frustrated with how i feel hurt that shortly after I ask if a person feels like rping and they tell me no, that they're soon rping with a different friend. I dunno, I guess it's really a pet peev of mine. It kinda hurts, because y'know, I wonder if what I'm currently rping with them sucks or something, or if I'm just not fun enough to play with. I guess that goes with my paranoia of being annoying and disliked. What can I say? I'm Cancer--fear of rejection is a biggie for me. I can't help it.

I dunno, I guess I wish someone would tell me that I'm just paranoid and I need to relax, other htan the people who I know would say that no matter what. I need a stranger--or someone i just don't know very well to say it I guess. People I don't chat with frequently. Maybe a reply to my journals asking about advice--before I go insane.

Maybe I'm just emotionally unstable at the moment because I've had a lot of stress lately. Just the past couple of days have been hell. But oh well. I dunno what to do, and this journal won't get much response since only one person reads it lol! Oh well to that too (<3 you Syan)

I dunno what more to say. I'm pissy, depressed and sick. Not a good combo. Egh. I should be sleeping, but that'd be smart lol. I'm kinda hoping I can stay up until Syan comes on. I want someone else to hand out with xD even if she might be rping more Javey smut. She's some of my best middle of the night company <3