Rawr <3

So! Here I am, taking a 'personal' day for once. Hangin' out with a friend I haven't seen in a little while and watchin' her play DDR :3 I've been playing too, but I needed a break xD I'm too outta shape.

I really wanna go on a trip though. I feel like I'm losing my mind here. I mean, yeah. I know everyone has their drama. I have drama too, but I just don't want it all poured on me. I love helping my friends, and I feel bad right now that I wish some of them would just go away! I feel really selfish, but I just want to relax and not be stressed everynight. I feel like I could cry every moment of the day and it sucks. I want to be happy again. REALLY badly.

SO now I'm gonna whine about MY shit. I don't have a lot.

I need a job. It's a pain in the ass. I'd love commissions too, but that's not gonna happen much either xD LOL That's okay.

I dun wanna live in my house anymore. It's too cramped with my sister living with us now, even though I love her to death.

My other little sister is visiting right now, and you know, I don't condone cutting, but I can't make her stop. She could be doing worse--and she's not being STUPID about it. I tell her to please be careful, and I clean her wounds. It made me want to cry today, but I didn't do it, not in front of people. Soon she'll stop I hope, she's getting out of her home. She's going to go live with her birth mother and not with the man that they have to call 'father' who abuses them in far too many ways.

I dunno. I don't see her much. I didn't think it had gotten that bad. And what's even more sad was that she wanders around her dad's place without sleeves and these GAPING gashes in the side of her arm and NO ONE NOTICES. I would have noticed if I saw her everyday. I noticed as soon as I got around her again. Same with when she cut her hands up. I feel WRONG having to take pull out my first aid kit and bandage my LITTLE SISTER'S arm up. It seriously kills me.

Those are the cuts. WHO THE FUCK IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULDN'T NOTICE THEM IN PLAIN VIEW?!?!?!?! *BREATHES*

And now, I dunno still. I'm tired mentally. I just want to go somewhere far away for a while and hang out with new people. New affections and all. It just feels really corrupted here. I love everyone here tho, no matter how stressed I might be over wanting to help them all and pushing my life under it all.

I'm sorry if this is too jumbled and roundabout and confusing to understand. I'm rambling, and I know it xD Oh well.

Anyway. I'm gonna go and try to stop stressing for a while. I just had to get some of it out. This here is a crappy journal xDDD

Love <3